I am reminded over and over again that once you nail down a strategy, emotions are the hardest thing you will deal with. I firmly believe that trading is 20% strategy and 80% emotions.
I will be brutally honest with myself here. It has been a very slow summer for me and that has been harder to deal with than I like to admit. I went from averaging $3,000 to $6000 per week, to being lucky if I break $1000 for the week. Seeing other’s on twitter making great $ has added to the difficulty of me handling this slow time. I want more than anything to just trade full time and sell my other business and I’m allowing myself to get impatient. All of this has added up and really got in my head. I know better than to let it bother me, but after weeks and weeks and weeks of barely scraping out a profit and seeing others make bank, delaying my desire to go full time, it has really started to get to me. It has made me question my skills. It has made me unsatisfied with my winning days. It has made me doubt my ability to make it as a full-time trader. It has even affected me in my personal life. I have been down and sad, so much so that my family has taken notice.
Today I let this get to me and took some trades on NFLX that I knew I should never have taken. I was not satisfied with my $700 win for the day and wanted more. I let greed take me into my NFLX trades…a play that is not in my niche and not one I would usually take. Luckily I stayed disciplined and took my losses as planned. I just happen to take 4 of those losses before I nailed the pull back (had $1800 in losses, made $1K back). I could feel it today though, the temptation to force the trade. I could feel my weak link rearing it’s ugly head and tempting me to get stubborn and hold or take bigger size than I should. This gave me pause. I realized I needed to take a step back. I was not in the right mindset.
Yes, I only lost $136 gross (-$351 after commissions), but if I don’t pause and step back to fix this problem, the loss could be much bigger next time. It could really affect my consistency. Stubbornness has almost taken me out of this game in the past. I have to get the $ out of my head. I cannot let this bring back old habits. I cannot let this slow time define me and my trading.
I am going to take some time to try and refocus. I will be leaving soon for a week and a half. I have decided that I will not be taking my mobile trading set up with me. I am going to use that time to take a step back, regroup and refresh. Until then I am going to take it easy, trade small and conservatively.